obnoxious men

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Beauty and the—yikes, it’s not the beast, but something very close to it.

Published July 13, 2016 by AntiqueMystique1

Now after that blog about sandals and high heels comes the bigger picture and it’s not always pretty: the disgusting flirtatious dirty older men that are attracted to a beautiful “too-young-for them” woman. I’m talking about baby boomer aged men that are so desperate for a date, some can’t even carry on a coherent conversation with me.

And it’s not that I’m trying to be patient, because that wears thin after being detained for fifteen minutes, but I really haven’t found a polite way yet to get these kind of men to leave me alone. Listening to these nervous men yammer on while not even allowing me to get a word in edge wise in a normal conversation is a tall-tale sign for me that something’s amiss. And their utter lack of respecting my personal space gets on my nerves, too.

I was wholly unprepared for a checker at a local grocery store to deliver me a message that an older male customer would like to ask me out on a date, yet they were almost too afraid to even introduce themselves to me for the longest time. The checker told the customer that he wasn’t even sure I was the ‘dating type’. This mystery date ‘never-will-be’ finally did introduce himself to me and wound up detaining me until closing time so I never got to get my discounted fresh strawberries. I try to make it a point to have fresh fruit at all times since I eat a majority of that and leafy greens.

This guy was so nervous in my company he couldn’t carry on a simple coherent conversation and they never got my name correct after I had said it six times which doesn’t bother me. But it sent up red warning flags in my mind when a guy can’t seem to hardly speak or even allow me to speak, then I know something’s wrong. It has nothing to do with the guy being socially awkward. It has a lot to do possibly with the man knowing he’s way out of his league but will never admit to it.

And the other encounter was actually from a random stranger on a different day. Again a much older man approached me in public and had the nerve to get right in my face, and told me how sexy that was. I look myself over in the muggy midday heat. My hair is damp with sweat and it doesn’t help I have on a black shirt that absorbs the heat. I just kicked some major bind weed’s ass in the garden and I tilled and mulched it. I was hot, exhausted and all I want are my fresh strawberries and maybe some Broccoli, is that too much to ask for? I put on a pair of no-frills sandals on my feet this day in particular and my Daisy Dukes weren’t showing too much skin so I thought.

I find myself being detained out in the hot summer sun for a good five minutes by some homely old man who thinks he’s Mr. Casanova. He’s got tobacco-stained teeth. And that doesn’t impress me. In fact, it’s a good sign this guy has never been to a dentist or cared about his oral health because he was also missing a few teeth as well.

As this guy continues to flirt with me, he then asked me out for dinner sometime just “as friends”. My jaw dropped in disbelief and snapped shut. I quickly look at my new pair of second hand sandals I wore and at my reflection in the store’s large window. I was damning myself for my wardrobe selection instead of opting for a pair of uncomfortable work jeans that would easily caused me to suffer heat stroke on this day in particular. All the while  he had me detained, I was thinking of what was going into another donation bag when I did get home: my new shorts I wore that day. I felt like donating everything ‘summer attire’ I spent good money on and just forget about trying to look beautiful. But I was strongly encouraged not to make a hasty mistake because a woman has all the right in the world to feel comfortable, stay as cool as possible in the summer, and still look her best.

And there’s one thing these older men I keep encountering like pesky flies all seem to have in common: they’re always so nervous to talk to me it’s almost like a gushing, swooning teenage girl meeting Elvis in person for the first time (when he was young and caused a huge stir on the Ed Sullivan show). But this is how I envision these older, very unattractive types of men that try to hit on me quite often. I do get tired of it. Any woman would. These types of men know they’re out of their league, but they still keep on with the flirtations until it downright hacks me off. Ever polite, I don’t create a scene. I don’t become rude or impatient though maybe I should with these types. And turning them down politely would likely cause them to either cry like a baby or to turn psycho.

And trying to appear beautiful comes with all the unwanted lecherous advances from said unattractive much older men that are in most cases very inept when it comes to speaking with women. And nearly most of these men lack of manners, have no clue about a woman’s personal space even when she hints strongly through her body language and takes a few steps back. The guy will just lean in more and get right in my face and is oblivious by my reaction.

And all these older guys either reek of booze, smell like an ash tray, or their poor hygiene speaks volumes. They really think they stand a chance dating a beautiful woman that’s clearly out of their league and age range? Give me a break. There’s got to be some clean cut, down to earth, sober men out there that don’t smoke, have drug and/ or alcohol addictions, take exceptionally good care of themselves and are snappy dressers. But those types of clean cut men I’ve never seen yet. I get accosted by the dirty clothed, disheveled appearance, pot-bellied, smelly, bald and gray-haired unattractive men.

I’m not talking about a ‘sugar daddy’ type of man with a massive fortune he spends on a young woman. I’m talking about the kind of dirt poor older baby boomer-aged man that isn’t married (and there’s another red warning flag in my mind anyway as to why not to some lady closer to his age in some cases).

I read one article that clearly missed the point about older men dating younger women. And the person who wrote the article stated that young women should be flattered that a man as old as her father and in some cases grandfather would want to date her. He may not be able to satisfy her intimately and he may not have much money, either. But if Hugh Hefner was penniless and living in a nursing home and on state insurance, for example, then all those bleach blonde, young gals wouldn’t shed their clothes for some wrinkly old man. And I’m sure a lot could be said about the aging baby boomer men that try desperately to get dates with much younger attractive women. If she’s high matience, then forget it. She’ll waste no time with a broke man. If she’s a sensible young woman, she’ll look for a guy in her age group. And if the woman is still very attractive at any age, she’ll discover that all the descent men are very hard to find. Instead, she may attract the wrong kind of attention from less desirable, homely men.

Therefore, I suspect this article was written by some twenty-hipster that hasn’t had much life experience dealing with these types of unsavory dirty old men. If they’re not financially okay, what more could he offer a young woman when he complains that he doesn’t want to work or move out of his elderly parents basement? And if nobody has clued these men in about their personal hygiene that’s beyond disgusting. Believe me, no woman would want to wear a clothes pin on her nose for the length of a relationship. And I’m not talking about those ‘big baby’ men that need a mother figure to look after them hand and foot nor am I talking about the mama’s boys, although I’d say most of these encounters with these homely men could fall into the “Mama’s Boy” category.

And if an older man struggles financially for whatever the reason may be and they’re always complaining about how they don’t have any money to even buy one bag of groceries says a lot! That to me sends up a few more red flags up in my mind. Financial instability for a man is a very bad sign. And if he can’t even cover the three fundamentals for survival: food, clothing, and shelter, then something’s very wrong.

I realize these economic times are very dismal and to make ends meet is difficult on everybody. Yet, it’s that little voice of reason telling me some more complex problem(s) lay at the root of it all and most of these older men that have tried to either ask me out on a date or flirt with me to the point of it being a nuisance makes me think, “Good grief! Enough already! I’m clearly NOT interested in the likes of you.”

And they also complain they don’t want to find a job. They’re quite happy trying to re-sell yard sale and thrift store finds through online auctions while living out of their parents basement. That right there doesn’t set well with me at all. You grow up and try to find some part time job. You learn to save your money and while you’re at it, wash up with some soap and water and buy some shampoo and conditioner and a stick of deodorant. And when their elderly parents do try to urge them to find a place of their own and move out, the said older guy argues with his parents about that and storms off mad. Again, a young woman, if she can help it, doesn’t want to get involved with a man like that. And if they don’t have any desire to work, then young woman, beware! These unemployed types are very bad news and nothing to get tangled up with.

More often than not these particular types of men seem to lack the motivation to change their circumstances for the better, nor will they ever put forth the effort to change their immature attitudes, grow up, become clean-shaven and descent. They may put on a good act in front of a beautiful woman, but after she gets to know him and his insecurities, he’ll likely wind up controlling her every move and then it escalates from there going from bad to worse.

But what will get me to complain the most is the lack of respect these older men have when they get into my face and seem to think I have no problem with that. On the contrary, I simply hate that and back off. But they don’t get the hint and lean in more which really irritates the heck out of me.

I haven’t mastered to just pretend like I don’t hear and keep right on walking or leave the store immediately and screw it if the poor checker has to re-stock the shelves of the items I had in my cart. If there’s anything that will make my s*** list really fast it’s when a homely old man gets into my face and tells me how sexy that is while eying me up and down. He is so vague and can’t talk right that it comes off sounding really dumb.

And just a side note to the all the young men out there that try to hit on me (whether your intentions are just for kicks or you’re really sincere); I’m honestly flattered by your compliments on my t-shirt and mistaking me for a young woman who could be 21 or 23. That makes me feel great 🙂  but please, don’t ask me point blank how old I am. Some women (not all) feel uncomfortable by this. It’s still considered very rude when a man asks a woman how old she is straight off the bat.

I happily reply that I’m old enough to be your mother (a young one at that) and leave the rest unsaid. But to the young fellow who approached me at the mall today who looked like a bad extra from a Vanilla Ice hip hop rap video: so you liked my high heels, did ya’ since you commented on how you liked them… well, I hate to burst your bubble, but they’re too small to fit you, gosh darn it. 😦

And one other thing: knock it off with the bombardment of repetitious comments “I like your shirt!” and “I still like those shoes!” They’re called high heels, but I won’t dock you any points for not knowing since you told me you turned twenty-one last week and maybe don’t have a girlfriend that’s clued you in on the differences in footwear. If you like my high heels so much then why not pop into rue 21 and find a pair for yourself since you seem to have all the time in the world and chill at the arcade.

And quit trying to peddle magazines for our troops and their families while at the mall. It’s called solicitation and I’m amazed that mall security didn’t kick your young obnoxious butt out of the mall. Young fellow you failed to solicit your material to other mall shoppers and just hung out at the arcade with your friends and kept on with your same comments every time you saw me. Somehow I feel your intentions weren’t genuine and you weren’t really serious about gleaning insight in what it takes to find a job like you told me. It’s called going online and submitting your cover letter and a resume. I just can’t fathom how you made it this far without a ‘stepping stone’ form of employment unless you’re one of those trust fund babies.

And there’s the other type of ‘old’ man that gets on my nerves: the ‘sober for four months’ kind. That’s great that you found a way to quit the booze, but trying to impress a woman by admitting that to her off the bat will let her know you’re definitely not a fella to get tangled up with unless she herself is a raging alcoholic.

All these unattractive type of guys see a pretty woman they know is way out of their league, but still they’ll relentlessly hound them and the minutes drag on forever! If their breath doesn’t reek of garlic, then it smells like an ash tray or booze and their personal hygiene is really off-putting. Whether a woman sports high heels, flats, shoes, flip flops, she just can’t escape the lecherous advances of these particular type of aging baby boomers try as she might especially if she has shapely strong legs. And I’ve even had a man drive by me once, honked and smiled.

They drove by so fast I just slowed down on my stroll, not certain who it was that honked at me or why. The same vehicle appeared again and pulled into a businesses drive way just a few feet in front of me blocking my path. They roll down their window and flashed a gold tooth smile at me. I do the very stupid thing and make run in front of on coming traffic (jay running, not  jay walking in this instance) to evade the creep in the truck. I believe he got the strong message I wasn’t interested, and believe me, that’s a very bad example of how not to pick up a woman (literally).

And then there’s the other type of disgusting man who will practically hang out of the open passenger car window while shouting at the pretty woman walking down the sidewalk while his friend slows the car down. And that’s why it’s good to have a pair of headphones on to ignore these kinds of weirdos. I just thought to myself, “Gee, hope he doesn’t fall out of that car and hit his head on the pavement. That would hurt.”

Immaturity knows no age limit it seems like and neither does being socially awkward. And why do these men all seem to display such immaturity and get all tongue-tied towards beautiful women? Half the time they just make a scene and other times they make themselves look like a jerk and it just embarrasses the woman. And I have never spoken to other women that might have found themselves in similar situations when an unattractive old man tries to hit on them and how they’d handle it. Likely, they wouldn’t give the older man the time of day which is what I need to start doing.

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How not to impress a lady:

Published May 25, 2016 by AntiqueMystique1

I was standing in the check out line waiting for the cashier that seemed to be nowhere in sight. I have patients like a saint. I don’t get mad or rude if the cashier isn’t there behind the register at that exact moment. Even if I’m in a hurry and feel this enormous pressure that I have to be elsewhere at any given time, I still try to plan everything ahead of time. The cashier could likely be busy doing something else like talking with their boss or maybe they’re in the middle of stocking shelves. And it never fails that a line forms at the most busiest time of evening—right before supper. Maybe the manager just stepped out for a smoke or the cashier doesn’t see that a long line was forming behind me and I had been at the check out less than two minutes.

And there’s some random guy standing too close for comfort behind me. He was one of those stealthy types that just cut in line and was there. And he might be thinking that by raising his voice in a holler while pounding loudly on the check out counter will make a woman like me turn to him with an expression of gratitude or fall head over heels… and if that’s the case, forget it. In the real world that kind of rude behavior doesn’t cut the mustard with me, pal and just gets on my bad side extremely fast.

 

And the fact this guy was literally breathing down my neck the whole time made me feel extremely uneasy, nervous, and always got to watch my stuff on that counter. The guy behind me just dumps his crap load of Little Debbie snacks, sodas, Gatorades, and junk food onto my purchases and doesn’t use one of those plastic divider bars or even bother to separate his stuff from mine. So there I am hoisting two 1 gallon jugs of water and clutched a can of tuna. My poison ivy rashes are flaring up badly. I’m in no mood for this guy’s sarcasm.

 

This guy lacks common sense, for the most part. He seems to have no clue about decency while shouting and pounding on the counter, “Hey, can we get some service over here?!” Then, looks at me and says with a grin on his face like he’s Mr. Macho, “That’s how you get them to get off their damn standing asses around here.”

I’m thinking, “You [to the guy behind me] belligerent simpleton!” and I felt like politely speaking up and telling this guy to a.) back off and respect my personal space! and b.) Never raise your voice to the cashiers. They work hard for what little they do earn, and its morons like this guy in particular that make their long work day equally grueling and tiresome. I don’t work in retail and don’t ever plan to and this guy would be a prime example as to why not. I’m just a customer. However, I do try to place myself in the cashier’s shoes whom wasn’t the least happy with the guy behind me and it showed. I do sympathize with those that have a billion trillion other things they’d rather be doing than checking out…

The obnoxious guy that hollers and thinks it will impress a lady like me? I think not. I gave the obnoxious guy behind me some disgusted glances and quickly moved to the opposite side at the far end of counter just so he’d stop with the invasion of my personal space so I could pay for my stuff and get the heck out of there.

Well, it’s that guy’s particular behavior that makes me steamed and I don’t care what time of the month it is for me. That guy’s stupid behavior should have ended in grade school—eons ago. And its just one of the many unpleasant, rude, and disrespectful things I deal with from some men (not all, mind you) who constantly try to either a.) impress me with their childish loud, disrespectful behavior like obnoxious guy tried. b.) constantly try to flirt with me and these men aren’t even in the neighborhood of handsome nor are they the clean-cut, church-going types in appearance and c.) some men just feel the need to fly off the handle at me when I politely refuse to accept one of those plastic fresh produce bags that they try to hand me.

The guy I refer was neither a store clerk nor did he work at the store. He was just another customer with sleeve tattoos I guess they call them and his neck, hands and fingers were all inked as well.

I’ve been chewed out for simply hesitating accepting a produce bag from a lowlife who was recently let out of jail. I only know this because he was one aisle over from me in another store boasting to a store manager how he gave attitude to his parole officer like he was so proud of his cocky attitude and then proceeded to question the manager why he got fired from his employment of only three days. The convict’s explanation was simply dumb. He didn’t feel like showing up for work because it was “…too early in the morning and boring.” The manager simply explained to him that if he doesn’t call or even notify them he won’t be at work, then the boss reserves the right to assume he didn’t want the job very badly in the first place.

The convict had the mentality of a third-grader because it was like he still didn’t understand even when the manager tried to simplify it in terms even a kindergartner could understand. I recognized this lowlife as the same man from the grocery store where he became extremely irate with me when I, at first, politely refused to take a plastic produce bag he offered to me. Then he lost his cool in a flash and shouted at me where everybody around me could hear, “What’s it look like? That I have some god-damned disease or somethin’? Now Take it!”

“Fine!” I huffed under my breath, feeling like if I didn’t, he’d be the type to knock my block off at any given moment.

I wouldn’t doubt what landed him in jail in the first place was probably domestic violence or something similar of that nature. He had a pregnant young woman with him and she was pushing a baby stroller with a baby in it, completely unfazed by his hot-headed attitude. She appeared to be one of those types that didn’t care too much about her personal appearance, was dressed between boho-ish on a wally world budget/ sloppily dressed in a long sundress, hair unkempt and greasy in a sloppy pony tail. She forgot to put on some shoes or sandals before leaving the house because she was barefoot. Uh, when did grocery stores throw out the ‘No shirt, no shoes, no service’ signs? I haven’t seen those since the 90s.

I loathe men like that one that pitched a royal fit in the grocery store when I tried to refuse the produce bag he was handing off to me. And the guy behind me in line today that was obnoxious just got on my nerves. Maybe it was my recent horrible bout poison ivy that literally rubbed me raw on this day in particular and that didn’t help. I felt like a real crab apple but thank god I didn’t take it out on those around me.

And then there’s the jogging Jaywalker I encountered on my way home.

She was standing at the end of an alley facing a busy street. She has on massive huge headphones, completely tuning out her surroundings. She’s doing a move like she either has ants in her shorts or its some kind of new uncontrollable dance move. She’s eyeing me as I approach like Grandma Moses behind the wheel since I don’t know what she’ll attempt. I’ve had random people try to walk into my vehicle (not walk around it, in front of it or even behind it, mind you). I don’t know what these kinds of people must think or what they’re on for that matter. And these types of people always appear to be in a major hurry and/ or they get annoyed when you [the driver] stop to yield to them even when you know you’re risking a potential fender bender from behind.

Just this evening as I was going home I caught a glimpse of a man in my review walk behind my vehicle while I was stopped at a red light. He jay-walked out in front of traffic without so much looking to where he was going with an air about him like he owned the town. And the jogging jaywalker’s looking straight ahead, her body jerking all over the place like someone with Tardive Dyskinesia. I’ve seen a lot of folks around town with this same uncontrollable herky jerky body movement. Whether it’s from them being meth addicts or if they legitimately have some kind of nervous system damage, it’s anybody’s guess. And if you see them in the store they always seem to be talking a mile a minute with themselves, very pre-consumed like they’re off in another world, and racing to and from their carts to dump stuff in it and go back for something else all the while rambling onto themselves like they haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in days or weeks even.

It’s one thing to see meth heads hanging out at the library or when they’re at the store and try to pay for a chocolate bar, bag of chips, and a bottle of soda while jerking so badly they can’t even stand still for a single minute and hand over the change which they wind up dumping out on the counter anyway. And it’ll scare the crap out of you when a meth head suddenly appears out of nowhere, knocks on your vehicle window and smiles revealing their black/rotted and missing teeth, hoping that you (the driver) will spare them some money, or perhaps they’ll just try and rob you, etc. They look aged beyond their years like they’re fifty or even sixty and have open sores all over their face, arms, hands, and yet, they might be no older than twenty-something or just barely out of their late teens, give or take.

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